Self-Esteem Problems
Broadly, we can describe self-esteem as a representation that we have of ourselves, including the feelings we experience towards us and to our ability to face the challenges of life.
Self-esteem develops in an early age of our life, and relates to the internalization of the way we were perceived by the significant others. In other words, the first look we develop about ourselves is based upon the way we were looked by the important people in our lives.
This self-esteem concept is not something static and immutable. On the contrary, it is subject to change and continuous evolution. Life experiences and the resources and skills acquisition contribute to a larger feeling of self-confidence and personal safety. The same process occurs with the healthy intimate and trustful relations, that encourage us to face difficulties and grow from them.
However, it’s not rare that, undermined by depreciative thoughts and believes about ourselves, we create some kind of cocoon…that we think can help us hide the shame we feel for being who we are…avoiding confrontation with new situations, that we perceive as threatening…and that could even be reparatory…keeping ourselves in damaging situations…and stopping us from pursuing the satisfaction of our needs and accomplishment of our dreams.
Inexorably, this representation we have about ourselves also impacts the relation we establish with others, contributing to the development of healthy intimate relationships…or perpetuating a constant and damaging feeling of loneliness.
The psychotherapy experience can allow us to access all of these questions about the way we see ourselves, how we feel and how we have been contributing to our problems, in a context of a safe, trustful and accepting relation. It also provides that we can gradually experience another look…of compassion towards ourselves…and acknowledge our abilities and personal resources, accept our limits or difficulties, and shelter our needs, wishes, fears, anguishes, and all our uniqueness.